All Aboard...

Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride on this coaster!  I have struggled with my weight my ENTIRE life.  I can very vividly remember coming home from school in the fourth grade, in tears, because the school nurse came around and weighed everyone and I had hit 100 pounds, at 10 years old.  Not good.  My son is about to turn eleven and he weighs 72 pounds.  But I can remember being mortified that I weighed more than the boys in my class.  It wasn't a good feeling and I always thought it was my fault for eating frozen pizza and Little Debbie's and not moving enough, even though I played basketball, volleyball and softball.  Junior high came and was brutal.  I was still overweight.  My home life sucked, I stress ate, boredom ate, and ate emotionally to fill voids.  High school wasn't much better, never had a boyfriend and it seemed no matter what I did, I could never look like the popular girls.  What was I doing wrong?  I have no idea how much I weighed because I never got on the scale, too depressing, but I hated being a size 14, however, it would get much, much worse.

My senior year of high school and freshman year of college was my smallest.  Why?  I took up smoking.  I have no other explanation because what I ate never changed, but I found myself fitting into a size 10 jean (maybe 160lbs) and loved it.  The added attention from college guys didn't hurt either.  ;)

[Side bar -- I am not a petite woman, nor will I ever be.  I am about 5'9", relatively muscular and pretty average frame.]

My freshman year of college, this was December of 1999, my parents announced their divorce and I had just started dating my husband, so over the next year, my weight crept up quickly.  

Fast forward to March of 2002, found out we were expecting our first son.  At my six week appointment, I tipped the scale at 244 pounds and a size 18/20.  Even now, it's hard to admit that number.  A far cry from that size 14 I was complaining about!  I feel bad for that person that ate her feelings and didn't know any better.  I would tell her so many things if I could.  I gained 11 pounds with that pregnancy, bringing me up to 255 pounds by the end of it.  Gave birth, via c-section, to a 10 pound 7 ounce baby boy (at 41.5 weeks) so I weighed less than my starting weight!  Baby weight, what baby weight?!

Me at my heaviest (outside of pregnancy), 240lbs.

Sept 2004

When my son turned one, I decided to get serious about losing weight because I didn't want to be a lazy couch potato, and wanted to have the energy to get out and do things with him!  So in the first three months of 2004, I dropped 50 pounds, by walking and eating better (got down to 178 pounds).  BUT I didn't learn anything so as soon as I went off my 'diet' I put the weight right back on.

October 2006, still overweight.

In 2005, I got pregnant with baby number two and at that six week appointment I was 202 pounds.  I gained about 25 pounds with that pregnancy and gave birth to a 9 pound 4 ounce baby boy (at 39 weeks) via repeat c-section.  After that I think I maintained between 210-215 pounds for awhile.

Family Vacation, July 2008.  Yep, STILL overweight.

In 2008, my weight was creeping up again, as I had some traumatic events going on in my personal life and was not eating very well.  I was back up to 225/230 pounds and at the start of 2009 once again, hopped on that coaster of trying to lose it again for my 10 year high school reunion.  Which, I did succeed at doing, by September of 2009 I was back down to 180 pounds.

10yr HS reunion - SKINNY, but not healthy.  September 2009

I struggled to keep it off the next year and when I celebrated my 30th birthday in 2010, I was at 190 pounds.

December 2010, on my way back up.

April 2012

July 2012

Then, fast forward to summer of 2012, I had packed on another 20 and was about 210 pounds.  And I thought I ate pretty good, drank diet soda...  We had some very bad days, of course, but it didn't seem like that could cause such an overall gain!  It was depressing, and I hated what I saw in the mirror.  I had resigned to the fact that I would never wear a two piece bathing suit and that I couldn't sustain any kind of real weight loss.  I despised clothes shopping.  Bathing suits, bras, pants, nothing cute ever fit.  And of course, I blamed myself.  Surely it was a matter of will power, right?  I was just as brainwashed as the next person, that low fat was how you lost weight.  Eat less and exercise more.

I have been paleo for seven months now and have been maintaining 170 pounds for the last five!  If you look back, that's the lowest I've weighed since college!  But the best part is, I am off that roller coaster!  Heck, I'm not even inside the theme park anymore.  I know now!  I know what to eat, I know how to keep the weight off, I know what I will never eat again and I know what makes me healthier.  I have educated myself and I can never be obese again and it feels really good to say that.  Plus, I am never hungry!  By filling up on healthy fats and proteins, you stay fuller much longer than if you're eating empty sugar carbs.  Boy, did I put my body through the ringer all those years of yo-yo dieting.  Losing and gaining weight like that is not healthy for your body!

Summer 2013

Fall 2013

It's not really a secret, the key is really just eating real food.  REAL food, not fake food.  Not stuff in cans, cartons and boxes.  Food that grows, food without labels.  The food we were meant to eat.  If you can't grow it yourself or kill it yourself, you shouldn't be eating it.  Period.  If you eat crap, you're going to look like crap.  Are there times I want to eat that Licorice or Milky Way?  Absolutely, I would be lying if I said I wasn't sometimes tempted.  But it's so easy to resist, because I have educated myself.  So when I am craving something sweet, we have dark chocolate (quality ingredients and at least 85% cocoa) or I make a paleo friendly treat.  I have a much healthier relationship with food now.  I eat to live, I don't live to eat.  Food isn't constantly on my mind, my stomach isn't always growling and I am nourishing my body with excellent nutrition.  I eat things like pastured eggs, kale, avocado, carrots, parsnips, and Brussels sprouts and grass fed beef, and I love every bite of it!  When you know better, you chose better.  I cannot say this enough - educate yourself.  It makes it so much easier to maintain your weight loss.  And it's also important to find your own balance, whether it's 80/20 or 90/10, whatever fits your lifestyle and gets you to where you want to be.  Everyone can do it.  You don't have to spend another day being overweight!  Learn from me and get off that ride.  Take control of your life and your health!  And say good-bye to your fat pants!!

Now my size 12 pants have to be held up with belts!  And for spring break in March, we are taking the kids to Disney, and I just may be buying a two piece to pack.  :)